Saturday, December 19, 2009

First time visiting the 1%?

Hello there curious onlookers.

My name is Brittany (which you probably already know), and I live life in the 1% (which, if you knew my name, you also knew this about me). No, I was not in the top 1% of my high school graduating class, I graduated with 20 people, 1% of that is like what, .2 of a human? Yeah, no. Definitely not 1% of my college graduating class, or any other resume building, smug intelligence indicating "I'm smarter than you are, nany nany poo poo," sort of way. It is not a designation of any great feat, in fact, it is absolutely nothing I can control. I always loved that line out of the reeeeally bad movie Constantine (with Keanu Reeves, there's an indicator of movie quality for ya right there, though I actually think it's one of his better movies), anyway the line goes, "God is just a kid with a magnifying glass, and we're all his ants." I'm pretty sure that I'm one of His favorite ants.

I think I'll introduce this idea of life in the 1% by explaining exactly what it means to be God's chosen ant.

If you know me, you don't even have to have known me well, you basically only would have had to meet me at one point in time, you probably know exactly what the title of this blog is about. But, if on the off chance someone who doesn't know me is reading this, then for you- life in the 1% is a short and simple description of my life. 99% of people will never experience the crazy, inexplicably mind boggling issues that seem to happen to me on a regular basis.

I fall into the 1 % of the human population- if birth control is 99% effective, I'm screwed. If a government bill will help 99% of new home buyers, I can congratulate all my neighbors bringing in their new furniture. If a piece of metal fell from the tractor engine/hot air balloon/space shuttle sent to outer space by a fledgeling Soviet country, it would fall on me, probably right after I bought a new car. Sounds dooms day I know, but at this point, it's just my life... and really, by now, it's comedy.


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